Agree To Disagree, Or Stand In Truth

The phrase agree to disagree sounds peaceful, yet it often becomes a cover for leaving people in confusion about the gospel and about sound doctrine. The Scripture gives a better way. Paul charges believers to be of the same mind and the same judgment, not divided into camps that hold different gospels or different rules of practice. “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” 1 Corinthians 1 verse 10. Unity in the Bible is unity in the truth. It is not a truce with error.

Right division keeps our aim clear. We are called “to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery” Ephesians 3 verse 9, which means we preach Christ according to the revelation given to Paul for this present dispensation of grace. That message centers on the gospel that saves today. “Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures” 1 Corinthians 15 verses 3 and 4. When the gospel is at stake we do not agree to disagree. “Though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed” Galatians 1 verses 8 and 9. Charity never asks us to be silent where God has spoken.

At the same time, Paul instructs us to handle disagreements with patience and clarity. The servant of the Lord “must not strive but be gentle unto all men apt to teach patient in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth” 2 Timothy 2 verses 24 through 26. We avoid foolish questions and contentions that only gender strife. “Avoid foolish questions and genealogies and contentions and strivings about the law for they are unprofitable and vain” Titus 3 verse 9. If a person will not receive correction after clear instruction, Paul allows a firm finish. “A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject” Titus 3 verse 10. That is not harshness. That is protection of the hearers and a faithful use of time.

Not every difference requires a break in fellowship. Romans 14 teaches us not to enter into doubtful disputations over matters of personal liberty such as food and days. In such things we forbear one another in love and let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. This is very different from the core message that establishes the Body of Christ. We can be patient about preferences, but we must be plain about the gospel and about the doctrine that governs the Body of Christ. “Mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned and avoid them” Romans 16 verse 17.

Here is a gracious pattern to follow. First, make the gospel clear from the King James Bible. Second, show the right division that separates prophecy and mystery, Israel and the Body of Christ, law and grace. Third, invite the other person to search the Scriptures and continue the conversation around the text. Fourth, if the person refuses the text or insists on man made authority, end the talk without bitterness. The goal is edification, not endless debate. “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” 2 Timothy 2 verse 15.

You can close a hard exchange with words that are both firm and kind. Here are examples you can use without compromise.

“I appreciate the time and care in this conversation. My conscience is bound to the Scripture. The gospel that saves is 1 Corinthians 15 verses 3 and 4, and the doctrine for the Body of Christ is found in Paul’s epistles. If we cannot agree on that foundation there is no profit in continuing.”

“Out of love for the truth I cannot agree to disagree on the gospel or on the doctrine that establishes the Body of Christ. I will gladly continue if we both open the King James Bible and compare Scripture with Scripture. If not, I wish you well.”

Agree to disagree sounds kind, but truth spoken in love is kinder. We aim for the peace that comes from clarity, not the quiet that comes from avoidance. We desire what God desires, that all men be saved and come unto the knowledge of the truth 1 Timothy 2 verse 4. When a hearer believes the gospel of Christ and begins to see the fellowship of the mystery, peace and unity follow. Until then, we will speak the same thing, stand fast in one spirit, and finish conversations with grace when they no longer serve edification.